Blogs as therapy

I have been thinking lately about the whole blog thing, about how people write about their lives, share extremely personal thoughts, and then them out into the world.

I remember once I stumbled across a blog written by a woman who had miscarried two babies, both around 20  weeks.  She was very connected to them, had named them, and described in detail what happened and how poorly she was coping with the loss of her children.  The last entry I read discussed how she was going to get therapy, which I was pleased to read, as I have never come across anyone as incredibly sad as this woman.

I have come to the conclusion that writing a blog is very therapeutic.  Somehow, the process of writing down the thoughts that are rambling through my brain, my heart, my life, and then publishing those ideas allows me to internalize them more effectively than if I was just simply thinking about them and chatting with friends.  A small number of people read suburban activist regularly, which is great.  But for me, what is even more powerful is the thinking that is required to write coherently about what is on my mind.

A high school teacher once said we should recognize the fact that while we were still students we should appreciate that someone had to read what we were writing.  Once we were out of school, that would no longer be the case... and in retrospect, I realize there is a tremendous amount of value in having to write an essay about a topic, as to do that requires a demonstration of understanding.  Having a blog, even a not very widely read one, extends that experience, but instead I am writing about my life experience as opposed to researching and commenting on history or english.  It is an interesting form of therapy, and I would guess for many other people out there that is part of the motivation for writing and publishing a blog.  I am here, this is my life experience, and even if only a few people read this the act of writing it feels good.

Even if we all really want to be Julie Powell.....

Children are work

Children are a lot of work.

Before I had Owen, and had two boys, and knew I was going to have a third, many people would say "you are going to be busy".

And now that Owen is here, and the boys are off school or not in daycare, I can agree: I am busy.

I am busy with the kids from morning to night, and they require food, activities, social relationships, time to spend outside, and time to relax.  It all requires facilitating.

Children are a lot of work, and each individual child has their own unique needs.

A friend was over the other day, and was sharing her photos of her trip to Malaysia.  I showed what I had taken pictures of recently: the boys in a variety of natural environments.  Our lives are different, what we do is different, because I am looking after the needs of three young boys.

At times it is daunting; I had a minor freak out a few weeks ago when I realized I may have three boys playing soccer at the same time, and I saw my life as a series of evenings spent at the soccer field.

Ugh.

Double ugh.

I realized, though, that I do not need to worry about my life and how it will look five years down the road.  I need to enjoy the boys just for who they are today, and what we are going to do today, and who the boys are right now.

The project of raising a child is massive, beautiful, and intimate:  a balance between the details and big picture, and - I hope - a daily celebration of human relationships.

12 Monkeys and Marineland

There was a group rate to Marineland offered through our former preschool, so I took John out of school and we went down to Niagara Falls for the day. It was a virtual festival of skipping school, as there were many families with children from John's school in attendance.

We had fun; it was hot but not too hot and sunny, with a fair bit of rain at the end of the day that sent us home soggy.

On the way down I listened to radio interview with Alice Walker, about her serious activism and a trip she is making to the Gaza Strip. I missed the earlier part of the interview but was struck by a statement she made near the end: that climate change is a huge problem; the ice caps are melting, and weather changes abundant, but that humans are extremely intelligent and if they work together to address some of these problems. It all seemed so relevant, insightful, serious, and optimistic.

And then I arrived at Marineland and watched a show with seals, dolphins, a walrus, and a funny guy in a silly suit. It all felt so 12 Monkeys, the movie with Bruce Willis and Brad Pitt, about a deadly virus that has been released so all humanity has to live underground. Bruce Willis goes back in time to try and stop the release of the virus.

There is a scene in the airport where Bruce Willis is a little kid, and he watches his future adult self who has travelled back in time. We know what is going to happen in the future, but the kid does not; he is at a busy airport, going on a trip, participating in daily life. The audience knows that the virus has been released and the future will be bleak.

I was struck by that while sitting at this show; is that where we are, at the airport, the virus has been released and it is all downhill from here? Is humanity doomed? Can we adjust to an unknown future with intelligence, resourcefulness, and compassion?

Political action - my reaction

A quick report on a demonstration I went to last Sunday... already a week has flown by since I attended Slutwalk Hamilton. I was a bit hesitant about attending, I suppose because of the terminology. However, I went, and found it to be a very dynamic and political rally and march. As I have been on so so so many political marches, it felt very familiar to attend. I felt somewhat nostalgic and very happy to be there.

The main message, loud and clear, was that women have a right to wear what they want, when they want; they should never be raped or sexually assaulted because of what their clothing.

My other thoughts, once I returned to my suburban neighbourhood, was that the suburbs are not political places. That is one reason I feel kind of fish out of waterish there - I am a political person, and there is not a whole heck of alot of political organizing going on.

Scrabble, again

There are several great games that can be played by two people. My game of choice is Scrabble, which is a fun and social board game that uses tiles to create words.

Scrabble is also very fun using the facebook app Lexulous. This way, I can stare at the computer screen for a very long time, coming up with word combinations that have a large score. Two and three letter words become important, and can, when used strategically, create very large words scores. My recent favourite: Xi, which netted me 50 points.

My opponent plays early in the morning, and so I have started to check her latest move when I first get up. This of course costs me valuable time, and we leave for school two minutes later than we should. We then have to travel fairly quickly to school, me urging the boys to walk faster or run while I push Owen in the stroller. It is fairly stressful.

I should probably start playing after John arrives at school, on time. The lure of the high Scrabble score is very enticing, though, so this will be a struggle.

My first garden....

I have never been much of a gardener, or interested in plants. I have often had one or two dusty plants kicking around, marginally watered and clinging to life. In fact upstairs I have a jade plant that must be at least 20 years old, looks terrible and looks the same from year to year.

However, I have a new interest in gardening, which has not developed from an interest in plants, necessarily, but more from a desire to produce food. Produce grown in one's backyard is as local as it gets.

There is, as I have mentioned, a fair bit of grass in a suburban neighbourhood; I wonder, as gas prices continue to rise, if this will change. In 10 - 15 years will we see sections of lawn turned over to vegetable production? Will fruit trees emerge, small orchards in the backyard?

Anyhow, our garden, was full of grass and weeds. I pulled them out, and planted 9 tomato plants and 5 lettuce... it is small, but a start.

This is the "before" picture... I will add an "after" picture later.

patterns of thought and behaviour

I think we get into patterns of thought and behaviour. The boys and I successfully walked to school, and I returned home with Owen. I even forgot the stroller cover, and while it was raining lightly there was enough cover from the stroller itself that Owen did not get wet. There was indeed more traffic than on a sunny day, as more children are driven to school when it is raining or the weather unpleasant.

I think this is just a pattern - of thought, and subsequent behaviour - we have developed. It is generally unnecessary for any individual to have to drive due to rain. (Exceptions can be made, of course)

Someone once told me that there was no bad weather, just bad clothing, and I completely agree. I am off to buy some rubber boots, for if this rain continues I want my feet to be dry.